Keeping it Real, even when it sucks
On a recent post about 5 skills for hiring, frequent reader and commenter Chain Smoking Blue Monkey had the following comment that really challenged my thinking:
In defense of “Mopey Murphy”: That very well might be the result of a bad manager that someone has had to toil underneath for years. Additionally, a realistic point of view (mind you, not necessarily a pessimistic one) can often come across like this as well. Yes, ideally we see challenges like budget crunches and shortage of staff as opportunities to try and make things better with limited resources, but you can’t always put a smile one when the world has been telling you you can’t dance for a long time. (see http://www.wetherobots.com/ for the reference)
I have often wondered where the balancing fine line between being realistic and being pessimistic or optimistic lies. The constant “EVERYTHING IS GREAT! WE HAVE NO PROBLEMS! WE HAVE GREAT CUSTOMERS! YOU ARE ALL EQUALLY WONDERFUL!” cheery attitude that I see in a lot of managers comes across as painfully insincere, and worse, obviously insincere. It is done in the service of not wanting to appear negative or biased or whatever, but the end result is often the opposite on employees.
I admit that I question a lot of the catch-phrasism I see here on Slacker Manager. You guys do a great job at looking at a lot of different ways to be good managers and on how to motivate employees you are supervising, but there are certainly times when I see something here that strikes me as a little less than genuine and a little more pie in the sky everything is wonderful optimism.
That brings up some very important questions about how you remain who you are and remain sincere to not only your employees but yourself. How do you remain realistic without being saccharine? How do you acknowledge the darker side of things while also keeping a positive but not delusional attitude?
Great questions! How do I remain a realistic manager without being saccharine? How do I acknowledge the darker side of things while keeping a positive but not delusional attitude?
I’ve had to ask myself this a LOT this year. This has been my toughest year as a manager and as a person for a number of reasons I won’t get into here. I think that gives me some interesting perspective to share.
First, I let my team know things are tough right now. Admitting we have a problem has been absolutely critical to not seeming fake or saccharine.
Second, I focus on solutions and provide status updates. HOW are we going to make things better? Right now, the answer is time, so that doesn’t help right now, but that we will get through it, little by little, and though some days may be worse than others (like the day only 3 of my 7 people showed up to work), for the most part, if we focus on what we CAN do, and not on what we can’t, we can “keep it real” and still move forward.
Third, but most importantly, is I ask the team how they feel we can make it better. I even invited in our HR partner in to get a more objective feedback mechanism so folks could speak freely without fear of retribution if I found out Sally said I was a bad manager or whatever. Sure we got some complaining. But we not only heard what they had to say, but I am actively working on an action plan to address their needs, which we will present back to them as soon as it’s done (2-3 weeks for a complete plan, 3 or 4 days for the first part).
Lastly, I find ways to celebrate our successes, one client at a time. While not everyone is their usual elated self when they complete an interaction with my team, my team still manages to occasionally find ways to wow their clients, and wow each other, and we celebrate those successes in a very public way. We celebrate them in front of the entire IT team when possible, or at least our department, and that public pat on the back works for many folks. Some get it in email to me, my manager, and my manager’s manager, and I always make sure to say thanks to both the associate for recognizing my team, and to the associate for providing outstanding service.
So those are 4 ways right now I can provide realism to my team, to provide optimism to my team, and to not come off as delusional. Perfect solutions? Heck no, and I’m sure everyone reading this has some even better suggestions.
Dear readers: How do you remain a realistic manager without being saccharine? How do you acknowledge the darker side of things while keeping a positive but not delusional attitude?
Original photo found on Flickr, credit to lonely radio
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POSTED IN: Phil Gerbyshak, management hack
8 opinions for Keeping it Real, even when it sucks
CK
Jul 18, 2008 at 4:41 am
Great comeback!!! Come together as a team, have the buy-in, and resolve the issues! In that manor everyone has stock in the results!
An insincere manager can be sensed a mile away by employees. When a manager is faking then employees stop trusting because of the lies or perceived lies and thus ending up not leading.
A good book is “Leading at a higher level” by Ken Blanchard. It is a long read but well worth it!
csbmonkney
Jul 18, 2008 at 6:54 am
Excellent post, Phil. I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness in thinking through how you interact with your employees.
CK - My comment wasn’t meant to be a rebuttal to Phil’s initial post, btw. I seriously am curious about that balance between a realistic point of view and retaining an optimistic point of view. i.e. it wasn’t meant to need a comeback, but to get a genuine response about how to achieve that balance without sacrificing a realistic point of view or without sacrificing optimism in the face of dark times. I think it succeeded. Phil’s response if great. I only wish my managers were half as thoughtful and tried even 10% as much as the crew here at Slacker Manager tries to know themselves as managers.
I literally come here to try to get a handle on what my managers could be doing better and then try to incorporate that into my own daily attitude. It does NOT always work, of course. Some days I do indeed give up and go home. Other days I am reminded of the very good people I work with and that I should focus on making sure those people scratch their heads in bemusement if someone mentions that I have a negative attitude.
Aaron Stannard
Jul 18, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I had never heard of those “We the Robots” cartoons before. I spent about 30 minutes during my lunchbreak checking them out - they’re pretty hilarious. I’d put them right up there with Dilbert.
Miki
Jul 18, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Phil, you’re right about leveling with your people. Lying, whether by commission or omission, is the ultimate trust-breaker. And once trust is broken repairing it is often a Humpdy Dumpty exercise. I think the way you handled it was excellent. Here’s something I wrote on
handling bad news that may be of use and another on attitude contagion
Miki
Jul 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Phil, you’re right about leveling with your people. Lying, whether by commission or omission, is the ultimate trust-breaker. And once trust is broken repairing it is often a Humpdy Dumpty exercise. I think the way you handled it was excellent. Here’s something I wrote on
handling bad news that may be of use and another on attitude contagion
brent
Jul 21, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Nice post Phil. I think you nailed the major points.
The sugary sweet, smells like bullsh!t from a mile away is my biggest professional pain point. What it says to me is that either:
a) my manager isn’t smart enough to recognize what’s really happening
b) s/he doesn’t think I’m smart enough to recognize what’s really happening
c) s/he doesn’t think I’m smart enough to have a potential solution
Clearly, none of these situations are good.
The only way to avoid that is really to put yourself in the shoes of your reports. What would you want to hear? How would you want to be heard?
The key, for me, is to be able to show the light at the end of the tunnel (but do it AFTER you incorporate the feedback/concerns/ideas of your reports). Without a plan to turn the ship around then you’re sunk. Celebrating successes is important, but you want to try to identify them ahead of time so that you can start slowly building positive momentum. That momentum means more when it’s in everyone’s sights ahead of time.
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