Business Manners: The BM Maxims from Mr. Eddie Cut
Happy Halloween!
This is the last article from the previous Dr. Z’s leadership institute. There will be no more stale dated posts from Dr. Z. on Slacker Manager. Beginning in November his future posts will have the freshness and consistency of Wonder Bread.
Dr. Z’s Leadership Institute is proud to have Mr. Eddie Cut join the faculty to teach this enthralling course: Don’t Miss Manners or Miss Steak - When the Stakes are High Follow Mr. Eddie Cut’s BM Maxims.
A bit of clever and cagey branding by Eddie to weave his own name in there. We can all learn something from this guru of greetings and this expert on BM (Business Manners).
Here are 8 of Eddie’s Business Manner Maxims:
- Public burping loses contracts and contacts: Belch in private for increased sales and networking.
- Use cuticle power: Have clean finger nails to nail a new job.
- Don’t fork up your future, always cut with a knife.
- Well shined shoes add real polish to your PowerPoint presentation.
- Sprinkle your conversation with the other person’s name to show them you know who they are and you are not afraid to say it. For instance, say “Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, it is so good to see you.” Make sure that you are talking with Tom Peters not Seth Godin when you say this.
- When eating pizza with a client show pizazz by not spitting your anchovies into the napkin. This will demonstrate to the client that you don’t mind fishy deals and you are ready to swallow just about anything.
- Even if you work with a toxic boss never place bottles of rat poison on the conference table.
- Develop the fine art of flossing. Never untie your shoe, take out your lace, and use it as dental floss to dislodge the hunk of steak embedded between your lower left molars. You come out looking like a real floss-loss, and this move, creative as it is, can be a real deal breaker leaving you with nothing more than a small hunk of steak wedged to your shoelace. Remember: Don’t lace into sole food!
If you don’t mind your manners, your manners will certainly mind you.
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POSTED IN: looking inward, management, satire
