Is work personal?
I’ve been struggling with the question of whether work is personal. I read Jon’s post a while back on the same topic and I sort of filed it away in the back of my mind. It came to the forefront of my mind this morning when I was walking to work. I was listening to an audiobook called "Love is the Killer App" (thanks Rosa!) and the author noted briefly that work isn’t personal. Some cars drove by at the same time, so I kinda missed out on the context and I didn’t rewind to get it. But the comment stayed with me, and I wonder whether it’s true. The thing that really nags at me is this idea of work/life balance. I’m an advocate of finding work where the values of the workplace line up with your personal values. I figure if there’s congruency between corporate values (practiced, not espoused), and personal values then we’re in a good place. But does such congruency equate to "work is personal?" I don’t think so.
I guess I should qualify what I mean by the words "work and "personal." When I say "work", I mean that activity from which we draw regular compensation, for purposes of living. When I say "personal", I’m talking about your sense of self-worth. The core of who you are. It seems like there could be instances where work really is personal, such as small family businesses, but I’m not even sure those qualify, though I do understand that many, many people really do identify personally with their work. I can also understand the concept of keeping your reputation intact–nobody wants to be sullied. But still, as far as I’m concerned that’s all business.
It seems to me that there are three elements in play here: people, place and job. People are who we work with. Place is both the location and the organization at which we work. Job is the work we do. Place is static, people and job are transient and can move between places. The best alignment between the three occurs when the practiced values of the place align with the values of the people and the job. If you have to work, that’s where you want to be. Unfortunately, those three are out of some kind of alignment most of the time. Either you don’t enjoy the job, or you don’t get along with the people, or your values are out of synch with the place. Or some combination of the three.
For me, work isn’t personal. It’s business and it’s removed from who I am. I work and I have standards and ethics toward which I strive. Also, because of values congruency, I define my own work. But my work doesn’t define me. It’s like my car–I use my car and I bought my car with very specific purposes in mind, but my car doesn’t define me. That sounds harsh, I know, especially when you consider all the personal relationships at work. But I’m not equating the people with cars, I’m equating the place with cars. Big difference in my mind. Regardless of where we work, we ought to be treating our coworkers respectfully at the bare minimum. But the place where we work is just a means to an end, not the end itself. When work becomes the end, it’s time for a vacation.
If I screw up at work, I definitely get all bummed out. Especially when I affect other people with what I did. I’ve spent good money at donut shops, trying to attone for my mistakes! I really try to leave my "work feelings" back in the office, and I’m usually pretty good about it. The walk to and from work helps clear my head, too.
So back to Jon’s original post. He noted an employer that was requiring increasingly strict measurements of their employees–effectively saying, depending upon your point of view, "we don’t trust you" or "we’re focused on results, and results require measurement." His conclusion is that work is personal and that it’s about trust. Trust is a good value to share between employer and employee, but I don’t think it’s the end of the line. I think there are people who don’t mind such strict measures, and are actually grateful to have clear parameters. My conclusion then is that work isn’t personal, but the best jobs to have are those that line up corporate values with personal values. I could work at the most flexible employer in the world, but if the practiced corporate values don’t line up with my personal values, it’s gonna suck. So I guess despite our stated conclusions, Jon and I are probably saying the same thing, but coming at it from slightly different angles.
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17 opinions for Is work personal?
Christopher Bailey
Jan 12, 2005 at 10:23 am
Taking a different approach, I’d argue that work is personal. The one issue I’ve always had with “work/life” is that slash in between - it suggests that they are distinct from each other. But, what if there’s the possibility for integration, that the two are actually the same? We bring all that we learn, all that we are in our lives to our workplaces. At the same time, the qualities and growth the occurs through our work has an impact on how we are with our family and community.
From experience as a manager, those who did the best in their work were the ones who brought their whole selves (good and bad) each day. Taking their work personally was like hitting the turbo boosters on their passion.
Lisa Haneberg
Jan 12, 2005 at 11:07 am
Bren:
To take your comments and Christopher’s to the management realm, I would say that work is deeply personal or why bother. Having said this, you are right that different strokes for different folks. And that is why I also say that management needs to be very personal. Managers should get to know their folks enough to recognize which actions will help each person do their best work. I have had teams where some people wanted structure and direction and others wanted something entirely different.
I agree with Chrstopher that one cannot do their best work unless their heart and mind is engaged - unless they are personally attached to their company and work. You might get good performance, but not the best the person has to offer.
Yes, there are corporate cultures, but even more influential, I think is the day to day influences that people have with their managers.
People should find the company culture that is a good fit for them. AND managers should further personalize the experience by getting to know what each person needs.
When you read about the flow experience (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) you get the sense of what the right circumstances can do to enable us all to thrive.
Phil Wilson
Jan 12, 2005 at 11:15 am
I really think these are the same view - and both very accurate in my experience. If the personal values (i.e. “tell me what to do and I’ll do it” or “leave me alone and I’ll shine”) align with the organization values (whether “we get what we measure” or “we trust you to do the right thing”) you get high performance. If there is a disconnect, you get low performance (the smart and courageous people self-eject from this situation, the others stay unhappy and unmotivated). Yes, some people define themselves by their career, but not all high performers do this. So for some people (Chirs?) work IS personal (i.e. a big part of how they define themselves), and for others (Bren?) it is not. Either way, the alignment issue is key for performance. Bren is right that for some people measurement and what some might term “micromanagement” is great - they get good feedback and they know what is expected of them. This kind of work can be “personal” as much as any other. This is why it is so important for organizations to be clear about what they stand for and to hire with that in mind.
Bren
Jan 12, 2005 at 12:10 pm
Great comments, everybody. Phil summarized pretty much what I was trying to say.
I fully understand Chris and Lisa’s viewpoint, and I’m in unqualified agreement when it comes to knowing the people you work with.
Like Phil said, I think we’re ultimately all in agreement. I’m just *really* reluctant to elevate work to being “personal.” My family is personal, my hobbies are personal, my faith is personal. But work isn’t…for me, anyway.
Doesn’t mean I don’t care about work and it doesn’t mean I haven’t put careful thought into where I work and what I do–I’ve done those things. I’m doing great work in a fantastic environment–everything is aligned for me. I know and care for the folks who report to me, and to whom I report. By all their measures, Chris and Lisa would identify me as taking work personally. But I really don’t. If I was laid off tomorrow, I wouldn’t give another thought to the unfinished stuff on my desk. I wouldn’t wonder why my employer/boss stopped loving me, and I wouldn’t feel like a chunk of my soul got ripped out. I’d just get yet another great job, perhaps with the help of the great people I’d left behind.
I’m probably just weird, though. :-)
Rosa
Jan 12, 2005 at 5:00 pm
Aloha kakou everyone.
Bren, I am loving this discussion you started. Luckily my own work has consumed much of my attentions today, helping me - just barely - resist the urge to fire off a quick and impulsively written comment when I first read your post earlier this morning, for as impulses go, I’m definitely one on the side (if there is one) of the work IS personal mana‘o (conviction).
For me there’s the simple fact that work consumes a lot of our time and energy, and it will ebb in and out of our personal lives whether we like it or not. It also consumes our physical, intellectual and emotional capacity. Thus managers in particular must understand, and accept responsibility for this certainty: being the cause of someone’s great (or rotten) day at work is highly likely to go home with them.
I am in agreement with much that has already been said here, such as the perfect work-world we all seek in matching up values: There is such a wealth of knowledge, experience and wisdom in these comments! So having fortuitously waited to comment myself I’ll just add this: Bren, you aren’t “weird” you’re pretty special. We’d all love it if everyone we worked with had your work ethic, put full head and heart in what they did as you do, but somehow managed not to take work-connected things personally in the grand scheme of having a quality life with their family. There is a personal passion in most of what you do, and perhaps that’s why you don’t think of it as “work.”
Jon Strande
Jan 13, 2005 at 1:39 am
Bren,
Great post! And what a wonferful conversation you started!
I agree that we agree, to some extent. Let me see if I can try to explain where I’m coming from.
You wrote:
If I screw up at work, I definitely get all bummed out. Especially when I affect other people with what I did. I’ve spent good money at donut shops, trying to attone for my mistakes! I really try to leave my “work feelings” back in the office, and I’m usually pretty good about it. The walk to and from work helps clear my head, too.
What you do is a large part of who you are. And, becasuse you’re a human, a person, there is no other way for you to take things than personally. Work is personal, because people are involved. You even point out that you takes things personally by your admission of the donut expenditures. ;-)
Just don’t forget to invite me next time, I love donuts (a flute without any holes is not a flute and a donut without any holes is a danish ~~ Chevy Chase)!
Jon
P.S. This is what I get for waiting to comment, everyone else makes all the points I was going to make! Harmonic convergence? ;-)
Dave
Jan 13, 2005 at 3:37 am
Holy timely posting Batman!
I am working my way through Covey’s 8th Habit and this discussion sheds significant perspective on the work gig.
Covey says a person is engaged at work when he is able to use his mind, body, heart and spirit. Take any away and management turns the person into a thing. Things must be controlled and managed - so starts a vicious circle.
I tend to agree. When one of the four dimensions cannot be practiced at work, we tend to shut down a bit, even withdrawl - so begins the depersonalization process. I know, I have and am still living this. I can and try to practice my values everyday - but I have to do so with others trying to hack my legs off. This is why it is easy for me to come home and turn the day job off faster than a commercial.
I have the feeling those who are really plugged into work, free to use their mind, body, spirit and heart, do not experience such a disconnect when they leave the office.
Raj
Jan 13, 2005 at 5:48 am
Way back in 30’s Gandhi said:
“One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole.”
Jon Strande
Jan 13, 2005 at 10:38 am
That reminds me of a quote:
“If man is not asked of his work to exert his understanding, or his invention when presented with challenges, then he generally becomes as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become.”
~~ Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations
Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching
Jan 13, 2005 at 4:50 pm
Work is personal - isn’t it?
Over on Slacker Manager, Bren got a discussion started on whether or not work is personal, after he himself had given some thought to a post that Jon Strande did on the same topic. I wanted to call it to
Lisa Haneberg
Jan 13, 2005 at 7:00 pm
Bren and all:
I agree with everyone’s agreement, in fact it almost feels like we are violently agreeing. :-)
Just one additional comment. Bren, I get it that you have chosen to not make work personal (while at the same time being dedicated and doing good work).
But what if you did? I believe that one can only do their BEST work when totally engaged and personally invested. You may be an outstanding employee, but I don’t think you or anyone can do their best work when work is not personal.
I’m not saying that everyone OUGHT to make work personal, I am just saying that we cannot do our best work unless we do.
I recently left a perfectly great corporate gig to do my own thing. The folks loved me there, thought my performance was wonderful. It was no where near my best and I was not personally invested. Dedicated, hard working, yes.
On more thing - I think being personally invested, i.e. making work personal makes it more fun and rewarding. So I choose to do as much work that I can take personally as possible, knowing that we all have assignments we take to pay the bills at times.
Anyway, hope this does not put a wrinkle in your oinment (or something).
Good discussion.
Bren
Jan 13, 2005 at 8:03 pm
Violently agreeing is a pretty good description!
Maybe I’m just missing some critical piece of work DNA, but I’m not sure how I’d get much more personal with my work. I’ve made a really conscious decision to be employed here–I sought it out, didn’t just stumble into it; I literally love the folks I work with; I generally have a great time at work. Why must I also pledge my soul?
If I’m brutally honest, I’ll admit that the thing I fear is spending way too much time at work. If work isn’t personal, I’m less likely to neglect the things that, frankly, will always (and should always) rate much higher on the importance in life scale. Fortunately for me, my employer agrees.
Irony: I write this at my desk at work at 8pm, having returned here after going home (late), eating dinner, playing dinosaur with my son and putting him in the bath. Can you guess where I’d rather be?
Management Craft
Jan 14, 2005 at 2:30 am
Is Work Personal?
Bren, over at Slacker Manager, has a hoppin’ discussion going on about whether work is personal. Please check it out and weigh in. Here’s my quick take on it: We all have to do some projects and tasks that we
K. Todd Storch
Jan 14, 2005 at 6:33 am
I would of had an earlier comment yesterday, but I had way too much work to do!
I go back and forth on your issue here, Bren. Is work personal? Yes and no. Should it be personal? Yes and no.
I just started GTD, and he has a definition for work. I don’t have the book in front of me right now, so bear with me. Its something like, ‘the definition of work is the things we do that is different that we want or need to do’. I haven’t completely bought into this definition yet, because there are things at the office that I really enjoy doing.
I know he is wanting me to stop thinking about my “job” as ‘work’, and my life outside of my “job” as ‘personal’.
So much has been said in these comments already, but I do get bummed out about work. I do get bummed out about things in my personal life. My work does define me a lot of the times mentally. I take pride in what I do and it matters to me.
Now, if I could only make a living playing guitar, training for triathlons, blogging, raising my kids and spending time with my wife!
Thanks Bren.
Todd
Rosa
Jan 14, 2005 at 8:46 am
The sincerity of what is being shared here is what breakthroughs are made of.
If I can paraphrase what I am getting out of this, I think we all have this in common:
I want to live my life the way I want to live it best, and I want that life to be the “work” I get paid for.
And that’s why work is - or becomes - personal.
Phillip Wilson
Jan 14, 2005 at 9:18 am
Lisa’s posts here and on her site today are so insightful; she says (and I agree) that this is mainly semantic. We get hung up on the word “personal.” However, I don’t think it is completely semantic - if it was I don’t think the topic would be generating much discussion.
Todd’s post is instructive as it relates to the Ghandi quote posted by Raj. Ghandi says “life is one indivisible whole” and that you cannot do wrong in one part of your life without it spilling over to the next - but this begs the question of what is “wrong” in a part of your life. If you identify very strongly with roles you play outside of work then work is probably more of a means to an end - it may be important and very engaging to you, but it does not define who you are and if you let it keep you from these more important (to you) roles then you are unhappy.
Todd wants to play guitar, train for triathlons (very time-consuming - my wife is one of the top triathletes in our state and trains a lot - it is a role that is very important to her) and spend time with his family. If Todd decided to do an Ironman race (maybe he does them) he would probably have to trade off a lot of time with his job, family and the guitar. Depending on how much he identifies his self-concept with being a triathete, this may be a good choice or a terrible one. Does this necessarily prevent him from being passionate or a high performer on the guitar, at work or with his family? I just don’t think so. It may make things REALLY challenging, but I don’t think it is impossible. [Note: It is balancing choices like this that have led to my own personal decision to NOT train for triathlons, or do much else besides read newsfeeds while riding a recumbent exercise bike in the mornings - I have a huge list of triathlons I have NOT competed in over the last couple of years which I plan to add to extensively this year. Hah.]
I guess where I come down on this is that I don’t think it is mutually exclusive to be engaged, passionate and a high-performer at work (I think Lisa says to perform your best work) AND to identify more strongly with your roles outside of work. If you self-actualize primarily with roles outside of work I don’t think this means that you cannot also perform at your best while at work. I coincidentally saw this wonderful quote today over at Marginal Revolution. Nobel Prize-winning economist James Buchanan began a one paragraph description of himself like this: “When all is said, I have faced few genuine choices between work and play because there is really no distinction. My work is my play, and I am surely among the fortunate in this as in so many other aspects of a happy and well-ordered life.” My work is my play. It is not my life.
I am helping a professor at Texas Tech with some survey research on whether there is a relationship between job satisfaction and a person’s self-identification with their work. The hypothesis is that those who identify strongly with their work will be more satisfied than those who identify more strongly with other roles in their life. I’m guessing the hypothesis will probably turn out to be true, which I think supports Lisa’s view by the way (i.e. those who identify more with work are more satisfied and higher performers).
I just want to conclude by saying that it is discussions like this that make me so thankful that I started a blog. I have been introduced to so many wonderful people and ideas and I look forward to learning more from all of you. I believe that history will find that blogs (I’ll throw in wikis as well) were a more important invention than email. I am double-posting this here and on my blog (the one on my blog will have links that I can’t put in my comments here).
Guero
Nov 5, 2005 at 4:43 am
Without reading any of the responses to your post, this is what I think….
Work had better be personal! I agree that we all should fine a job that align with our personal values, but I also think that people who don’t make work personal are automatically making their job a bit of a farce. The people I work with depend on me and I on them. I make an effort to get to know them and they me. I take work seriously because, whether we like it or not, our work defines us as people. It has been said many times, it is not what we say, but what we do.
In short, Our work is a major part of our lives, so my humble advice is to work for something or someone you love and agrees with your values and make it as personal as possible, because that is the only way we are really giving our whole effort.
If you don’t think work is personal, then you hate your job. The solution is not to make work more or less personal, it is to find a jobe that is meaningful to you so that you want it to be very personal.
Well, there it is, for all it is worth. Great post! I am now going to read what everyone else wrote. Hopefully I am not repeating everyone.